In spite of the initial burst of energy I had in the garden when I first got back from New Zealand, full of plans to 'sort things out' and 'get things in order' a strange kind of apathy has set in... I had plans to book the carpenter/builder, pull up the dreadful carpets in our lounge, badly stained and ruined by elderly incontinent dog and generally start improving the place. I DID phone the window people, but it seems that despite them saying that we ARE on the waiting list to have our Crittall windows serviced, in reality they just don't want to know...they haven't replied to my messages, so I am guessing we need to now forget about them. If only they had said that they weren't interested in the first instance. It beats me why these people come out, give you quotes and book you in and then don't bother actually doing the job, getting in touch etc...why don't they just say they don't want the work in the first place?
Why the apathy I wonder? I guess because a part of me just wonders whether it will be worth it. Whether the end result will be an eventual move to New Zealand in 2016 as I am hoping or whether it really is just a dream. Will my husband REALLY want to leave his Mum behind? I would quite understand if he didn't - after all it is not easy having your close family 12,000 miles away - I should know! So that is certainly part of the reason I think. Grey dull and wet days don't help me either. I know I am VERY affected by light levels in a very BIG way. I think a part of me also doesn't know what I want...I don't want to have regrets and 'if only's' several years down the track, so feel we need to start making some decisions about JUST what we want to do and start working towards these goals. Not just me doing it.
Still I guess I need to shake myself out of this apathetic way of thinking and just start doing...if nothing else we will actually end up with a nicer home if I make the effort to book the plumber to do the bathroom, the carpenter to do the work in the bedroom, and the flooring people for the lounge and bedroom. All these jobs needed doing when we moved in here over 15 years ago, so they really DO need doing now!
Ho hum...
It sounds like you are at a crossroads of sorts ... I'd get in and get the work done ... if you stay you get to enjoy it ... if you go it will make the house easier to sell and at a better price. I understand the apathy though ... sometimes when the way forward isn't clear it's just easy to lose focus and direction.
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Oh I get like that sometimes, I call it my fug :D I'm in a fug, felt that way this month after hearing of the death of a good friend. ring the company who haven't bothered to get back in contact and tell them you wish to cancel, and get someone else. Get the work done it will need to look presentable for resale. Marriage isn't about sacrifices it's about compromise. Sit down with you hubby and discuss, what you need to do now, then what to plan to the next year then until your return to NZ. If that happens, either way you need to know what the plan it, the reason you're probably feeling this way is because you have no plan, and that can leave you feeling a bit adrift. Failing all that there's always wine!! :D xx Take care
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