Pain - a particularly frustrating flare making it harder to bear than usual has been getting me a bit down recently so haven't felt much like blogging or anything else for that matter....plus worrying about my parents and then my Mother in Law being seriously ill has added to the whole feeling of apathy about things.
So I just thought I would revisit a post I started writing about a few weeks ago but didn't get round to finishing.
So my theme for this year is going to be Joy - finding Joy. Asking myself the question....Does it give me joy? when pertaining to trying to make some semblance of order and various other themes on this word.
During my clearing and sorting in preparation for hopefully a move in the future (although this is one of the things I am feeling like is going to be increasingly unlikely with the recent ill health of my MIL - how can I expect my husband to leave her?) Anyway back on topic... I am looking at each item and thinking ''Does this bring me Joy? If it doesn't out it goes! It is so easy to accumulate 'stuff' and if we look at it too hard we either forget it is there, or talk ourselves into keeping it, only for it to be forgotten about, so I want to go on my immediate feeling. Part of this thought process came about by reading the book mentioned in my blog post
here that I wrote back in February.
I am going to complete re-evaluate what I do and why as well - also along the theme of 'Does this bring me joy?
One of the things I need to give serious thought to is my cello playing and how I REALLY feel about it. I started in the hope that it would be something I could do without too much pain, but this isn't really happening plus I am not making the progress I know that I am really capable of if I were to put my mind to it - and IF it was a pain free process which it isn't. Having not played for the last couple of months due to being away, I find that I haven't actually missed it at all, and I almost feel a reluctance to start practising again....I shouldn't feel like this...and it makes me feel a bit guilty that I do, as music is something I love and so is the cello....or is it? Is it possible to love something but to no longer get joy from that very thing. So what I am going to try to do is put in some serious effort for the next month - two weeks before I have a lesson and for the two weeks after, and reassess then how I feel, asking myself that question. Perhaps it is time to move on and concentrate on other things. I haven't touched the cello (or the clarinet for that matter) since before I went to New Zealand in February. This must surely tell me something?!
Singing is another thing I feel I am needing to re-evaluate, particularly choir on Sundays as I just am in so much pain by the end of the service I wonder why I am doing it as it is taking away my enjoyment in the music.
As for my clarinet, I still feel like crying when I think of it...
One thing that IS giving me joy is the discovery of art, and this is something I would like to pursue and put more effort into. At least I have something tangible to see after the event, unlike with music, once played it is gone, albeit still in your memory.
My colour for the year - or at least for the Spring and Summer is going to be orange! Yes I have re-discovered this fun colour while in New Zealand when I bought a lovely fun top and have since added a skirt and a cardigan in this colour scheme.
Meeting up with a friend in Kerikeri
Yellow is another colour I love. I was delighted to be able to hire the same yellow car I hired in 2010 when in New Zealand - you just can't help but smile when you saw it. Yellow is such a cheerful sunshiny colour.
My husband has embraced my love of this colour as well buying me yellow roses the first couple of weeks I was home from New Zealand. Love them!
As a reflection of my embracing these sunshine colours...I will be updating my summer wardrobe - that is if we get a summer...I am still wearing jeans, long sleeve shirts and jumpers (sweater) and a coat when going out!
I bought three tops and a skirt while in New Zealand - all from op shops - in fact the skirt was free!
This fun orange top was shown above with me wearing it. I am hoping that we will get weather warm enough here for me to wear this.
A loose fitting but comfortable top for keeping cool - with butterflies on!
My free skirt.
Pretty blue top - another colour I love.
I've also seen a several items in the charity shops down the road that I have bought.
Stripy orange cardigan
Orange linen shirt
Yellow top
Lovely soft blue cotton cardigan.
Blue top.
Of course this means that I really do have to continue sorting out the clothes I have and deciding which ones 'bring me joy' and thus are ones I keep and which ones are to go.
In the kitchen: I am a fan of pyrex - I use bowls to mix things in when baking, preparing salads and for cooking casseroles. I am gradually building up a collection of pyrex dishes that I use regularly and enjoy using.
I recently saw this serving dish which I thought would be ideal for serving various meals, whether hot or cold
A good price as well at 99p!
I have been eating healthily since I have been home and exercising regularly, walking every day and also going on the eliptical trainer, although have missed the last week as just been in too much pain. According to my husband's special Body Composition Moniter scanner I have a body of a 22 year old! Why the heck doesn't it feel like one then? I am fit and healthy, I just hurt! ALL THE TIME! Doesn't seem fair when I am doing everything else right.
I have started trying to juice more regularly as well and these are a couple I have enjoyed this week.
Lovely to see tadpoles in our pond...although not so pleased to see the mosquito grubs!
So trying to find Joy....
